Asthmatic

Oh my goodness! I just had an asthma attack. It has been well over 4 years since I had my last attack, this is almost un-heard of for me. My son is now 4 years old, and I wasn't even carrying him the last time. Girl, pull yourself together!

I have to begin eating right again.
Reading more Holy Qur'an.
All prayers have to be offered on time.
My exercise regimen will need to get put back into place real soon.
My schedule has been on point until today.

The illness has put me in an interesting position. I feel like I'm on standby waiting for something to happen again. This is always how it feels when my asthma sparks up. And then earlier I began to break out in little bumps all over my face and a few places on my body. Ok, now that I type out this experience, I'm getting scared! What is happening to me?


"Hesbiy Allahu Wa Ni'mal Wakeel."

You Make Me Bipolar

　
They say opposites attract
But I beg to differ
See I figure
You follow the rules of love you'd never paint a perfect picture
So Mr.
I'ma follow your lead and we can make our own roadmap
Call it a love depicter
Intersect paths to create a maze-trap
And I never wanna find my way out of this
Because the way you make me feel
There's no way except it, accept it
I'd believe your every word even if I knew it were fictitious
Your love is delicious
Addictive
And I'm addicted
　
Buuuuut
I hate you
You make me feel like i'm mentally unstable
My memory is unable to out-date you
If only you were fable
And I were capable
Of letting you go
But I can't
Because emotionally I'm over-flowed
The worst part is you know
And I hate it so
So
Release me from your spell
From this high I fell
Oh well
　
They say dreams come true
And I know that they do
Because in the midst of chaos
I managed to find you
You're like a picturesque vase
And I your rose
Encased
Safe
In a secret place
With me
Only you can relate
And it's crazy because I know you can't be replaced
That's the reality I face
But as the days pass by
I pray the feeling subsides
　
Buuuuut
I can't stand you
Cause you were full of lies
And when I confronted you about it
I got no reply
Hmph!
I won't ask why
Just keep my hands raised to the sky
Riiiiight
This is real love?
Just disguised
You're like my enemy
All that you said about being a freind ta'me
Was poppycock
And I can usually decipher through things sensibly
　
They say when you meet your soulmate
You'll get that feeling
So we've finally met
And your words are so indearing
I can still feel his eyes peering through me
Even when he's away
Please stay, pray, and never stray from our union
Our love is like a communion
And we share it so well
And it's so heartfelt
My love is beauty and you're eyes are the beholder
I'm an X-box and you're my controller
Your grip may be loose but you keep thinking
"I can still hold-her"
Still console her
　
Aaaaand it's true
You definitely can
Because one thing I'll never do
Is misunderstand
Nor will I ever
let go of your hand

I'm sorry

I may not be as expressive as I usually am and I want to apologize. In the future some time I will pick it up, but I wanted to notify you that it won't be too soon. Whenever there is an update, I will definitely let you know, but for now I'm signing out. Love to all!

Strange....

You just don't understand me, and never could. Because I am nothing like you, or her, or anyone else.

Night

Alright Blogspot I must go. I hope you enjoyed this night because it was very rare. Don't know when I will blog this much again in one single night, but I didn't know it would happen tonight either. I have to attempt resting. I have an exam Sunday and I haven't studied at all for it
*sigh*

Fareal?

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooow Shaq! Just wow! I mean, you really have disappointed me. If those messages were real, I am so upset. What is it that makes the world such a deceitful place these days. I guess I need to stop having so much hope, even though I don't want to. Dag man! I'm just waiting for the next celeb to be in the news. Now I feel like, it's all of them and it just hasn't been manifest yet. Btw, it's not just celebrities, it's the poeple you know too. You probably know more cheaters than you think you do. O.m.g. I'm about to go cry, I can't take it!

This is called....

Speed bloggin. You should try it sometimes, it's therapeutic...

P.O.E.T.

Person. Orally. Expressing. Their-self. Holla!

So about this TSA manual

I'm just trying to figure out if all of these "accidental security bleeps" are really, "accidental." If you ask me, there seems to be some sort of organized plan they have for a "terrorist" attack soon. America really, why so many mishaps, so close together with security? Especially when we've been attacked soooo many times. Right? Haven't we been attacked alot? Yeah sure!

Never get comfortable.

It is juuuust when you have gotten comfortable enough to relax, when Allah shows you that NOTHING is forever save Him. I mean like, nothing belongs to you, not even you. Even you belong to Him, so never get comfortable. No sooner than you begin to rest will He shake you and say, WAKE UP and worship me, nothing and no one else. If you lose sight of Him, or neglect your duties to Him, He will become jealous. Thereafter He will either take that which distracts you from Him away forever, or temporarily to teach you a lesson...it's that lesson that disturbs me. I hope I understand, and never forget these lessons...

Lost

If my prayers never received answers
I'd still pray
Because at the end of the day
I know You're listening
Even when I'm whispering
And hear me
Even when I'm just thinking
But what if
I can't lift my arms
And what if my thoughts don't process properly
And what if I can't face You because I'm too ashamed
And I can't say Your name
Because I'm not worthy
Just
What if.....
If my prayers never received answers
I'd still believe in You
Because I know in You I can find truth
Like no others do
And that our friendship will never be damaged through
The whispers of others
And if I feel this way
Why don't I act as if I believe
And why is it so hard to bow down when I'm in need
And how come scabbed wounds open and bleed
And I know giving up will not set me free
But living through it
Hurts more
So I pray for
A brighter day
They say "When the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray"
Well I say it's true
So in that position I'll stay
Because I'm not strong enough to stand anyway
And being weak before You
Is better than just being weak
And since I can't sleep
I'll remain awake and weep
In the still of this very night
I weep......

Salahi's.....

I just find it interesting that this whole thing occurred. Obviously this is a distraction of some sort. From what? I haven't figured that out yet, but this is just my opinion. Who in a nation would have better security than the President of that nation? No one! I don't think that they (The Salahi's) slipped through security, I think it was one of two things. It was planned to distract our attention from the bigger things that are taking place, like I said before, or, they showed up and were shown the utmost hospitality.

It's just not possible that they snuck through such a planned out, highly secured event with no problems, when no one was expecting them. I don't buy it at all! But I will stay attentive to see how this unfolds though, I'm interested. I guess they got me too....

Oh well!

*Sigh*

The evolution of me
Obviously
Is emitting growth of me
So grow with me
Or show me the way
I can't argue that my path is straight
But if you have no proof of astray
Then just stay
Be still
Be quiet
Be real
My eyes are wide open
And this heart
It feels
It cries
It spills
Over with emotion
I know I'm not holding the answer to the future
But my hands do possess the knowledge of it's producer
And His book is it's proofer
My grip is no looser
Than it used to be
I'm just on the road to find happiness
I won't lose myself on the road of this
His Hand stays hovered over me
And I'm quite aware of it's detailed list
I must exemplify a true muslimah
I must give up my relaxed demeanor
This lady
I see her
More focused than she's ever been
Ready to grace the world with mic and a pen
In the midst of sin
I can make some sense
Cause it seems I've been all over the world
And still can't find many with more than two cents
Of deen in their life
I don't mean to be judgemental
But if He shows me the signs
Should I ignore it each time?
Does He not clearly define
That these are the last days in time?
I only wish to be under His light while I unfold
Unwind
Washing each limb and I pray they shine
It's fine
I'll take this to Him
But I won't promise you much else
And I'll never pretend...

I miss you

They say the heart grows fonder when absence is present
I guess that's why my soul yearns for your presence....

Give me....

A mic......