To my mother...

Bittersweet memories

Ummi,

I never told you this, but I felt it was time now.

I am almost 6 months away from turning 29, and now have 2 children of my own, and I can honestly say, I understand what you did and why you did it. That doesn't mean I agree with every part of it, or that I want to mirror your example as a mother myself in it's entirety, but...

I respect you.

My respect for you and your hard work has increased so much in the last few months that I had to write it down. Late nights, 8 of us, poverty, a Da'ee for a husband, and no help most of the time.

I respect you.

A proud, never complaining, always pleasant, loving in so many ways, great friend to all, exemplary Muslim woman, and content housewife.

I respect you.

Never did you ask Abi for anything that wasn't given. He didn't stress. You trusted him in the hardest of situations, you instilled belief in us that everything would be handled by Allah, and it was. At times we weren't the best of children, and many of us disappointed you...again...at times. But you continued to smile, and pray.

I respect you.

I feel a connection to you that I hope never withers. I was breech in your tummy. My daughter was breech in my tummy. I was diagnosed with Bronchitis at 3 months old and was in the emergency room on oxygen. My daughter was diagnosed at 3 months old with Bronchitis and had to get an Albuterol treatment. I turned over right before birth, she too turned over right before birth. Our connection can never be denied. When you use to tell me the story of your pregnancy with me, my stomach would turn, thinking about the concern and stress of you having to face such hard situations. Now I, the same child that listened to those stories about me, have gone through it all and more.

I respect you.

And after all of these years, your youngest is 26, and you're still just as concerned and involved as you were preadolescence.

I want to kiss your feet, rub your hands, and hold your heart so that it feels my adoration for your every effort to rear us to the best of your ability. I won't say you deserve the world because you don't. In my opinion you have earned something far greater. You deserve Allah, and I pray that He allows you exactly that.

Ummi, I love and respect you endlessly. Thank you for being exactly who you are. For that,

I.Respect.You

Upside-Down-Girl-

365 Art

Day32
FreeWrite

I have been through this dark road many times, not knowing when the light would grace me again. Or if it would. I can't hold my breath, for it never may come. I may live black and blue until my last breath...and if I do, let me rise to the rays of reward. My heart hurts too much. It feels too strongly. And at times, I want to throw growth a fist, and struggle into the ocean.

Just let me see light again...

365 Art

Day 31

FreeWrite


I, am a lover of Love.
Only in the esotericism of words lost in light,
could I communicate with what inheres above.
White doves fly round this earth showing proof of You.
You it is who has captured my heart,
leaving all other things jealous of Your presence.
My love too strong to share, I want You to myself.
Selfless without You, selfish with You.
Make me a friend of Yours, a believer,
like Ibrahim, a patient knowledge seeker.

I, am a lover of Love.

365 Art

Haiku
Day 30


I'm exoteric
Though my soul transcends this world
Free me from myself

365 Art

Haiku
Day 29


Miraculously
I bring life into this world
Only by His leave

365 Art

Haiku
Day 28


When one door is shut
Another one is opened
Don't deny mercy

365 Art

Day 27

WordPlay in A Lovers Nest

Love keep loving me, please.
Pleas, plead for what is closest your hearts desire,
I'm in dire need of you.
Diaries written on sheets for you.
Palms secrete sweat beads through glands,
Our land of love lingers in the hearts of latent lovers
But for others this emotion too potent, too open.
Can you promise to love me forever?
I'll whisper honey-rich poetic hymns,
Sing songs in your honor lest you fear these words in vain.
In sane, in veins, untamed, Only God could have engraved
Your name on my heart.
Only in love like this does love get lost.
Light luring looks leaving me flushed...
This crush, much like that of a child
I blush.
Loving living in this moment,
I own it.
You inhabited my heart, healing hurt from decades before you.
And since love is all you have to give, let me borrow.
At last...

Silence my sorrows by morrow.

365 Art

Day 26

Art is what you make it, or what it makes you.

365 Art

Day 25
(Leaf Series)

Got Shahadah?

365 Art

Day 24

(Leaf Series)
For: Abi and Ummi


Since I couldn't paint your hearts gold...

It's the thought that counts (and the painting).