My mirror is blank
I can't see my reflection
Ignorance is bliss
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
The Skinny
Ok so, I'm totally back, sort of. I mean, I just relocated and I have been trying to figure out life in a new place. It's interesting. I mean, I've never lived away from my family, and here I am, in a place where I know very few people. I'm not sure what I have to say yet, but I just wanted you all to know that my neglect was not intentional. It's a lot of work moving a family from one place to another. Blogging just hasn't been on my mind.
But I'm back!
But I'm back!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
365 Art
Day 33
Dont.Touch.Her.
Dont.Touch.Her.
Sometimes words aren’t enough
So I paint vivid pictures
Simple enough for the layman
Yet
Sufficient for the genius
But…
With words of course
I never learned how to use an easel properly
So I [speak] in frames
She said, “he’s a good man, with good intentions”
But I know better
You see
I’ve read letters
And listened when I appeared in other realms
My heart merely beat as it should have
So
I know that [you’re] scared
And aware
Because It’s in your eyes
And no matter how tough an adolescent you were
It’s enough
Everyone faces fright when surrounded with tumult
Just obliterate the pretense of strength
Courage is needed even when giving up
Let’s make-believe
I’ll make you believe me when I say that you’re lost
I have looked deep enough
Your core has transformed from vibrant to crushed
Flush consuming your skin-tone
You are dying in front of me
And, all I can do is wonder
If [I] slap you with enough force
Will you wake up?
Monday, February 28, 2011
To my mother...
Bittersweet memories
Ummi,
I never told you this, but I felt it was time now.
I am almost 6 months away from turning 29, and now have 2 children of my own, and I can honestly say, I understand what you did and why you did it. That doesn't mean I agree with every part of it, or that I want to mirror your example as a mother myself in it's entirety, but...
I respect you.
My respect for you and your hard work has increased so much in the last few months that I had to write it down. Late nights, 8 of us, poverty, a Da'ee for a husband, and no help most of the time.
I respect you.
A proud, never complaining, always pleasant, loving in so many ways, great friend to all, exemplary Muslim woman, and content housewife.
I respect you.
Never did you ask Abi for anything that wasn't given. He didn't stress. You trusted him in the hardest of situations, you instilled belief in us that everything would be handled by Allah, and it was. At times we weren't the best of children, and many of us disappointed you...again...at times. But you continued to smile, and pray.
I respect you.
I feel a connection to you that I hope never withers. I was breech in your tummy. My daughter was breech in my tummy. I was diagnosed with Bronchitis at 3 months old and was in the emergency room on oxygen. My daughter was diagnosed at 3 months old with Bronchitis and had to get an Albuterol treatment. I turned over right before birth, she too turned over right before birth. Our connection can never be denied. When you use to tell me the story of your pregnancy with me, my stomach would turn, thinking about the concern and stress of you having to face such hard situations. Now I, the same child that listened to those stories about me, have gone through it all and more.
I respect you.
And after all of these years, your youngest is 26, and you're still just as concerned and involved as you were preadolescence.
I want to kiss your feet, rub your hands, and hold your heart so that it feels my adoration for your every effort to rear us to the best of your ability. I won't say you deserve the world because you don't. In my opinion you have earned something far greater. You deserve Allah, and I pray that He allows you exactly that.
Ummi, I love and respect you endlessly. Thank you for being exactly who you are. For that,
I.Respect.You
Upside-Down-Girl-
Ummi,
I never told you this, but I felt it was time now.
I am almost 6 months away from turning 29, and now have 2 children of my own, and I can honestly say, I understand what you did and why you did it. That doesn't mean I agree with every part of it, or that I want to mirror your example as a mother myself in it's entirety, but...
I respect you.
My respect for you and your hard work has increased so much in the last few months that I had to write it down. Late nights, 8 of us, poverty, a Da'ee for a husband, and no help most of the time.
I respect you.
A proud, never complaining, always pleasant, loving in so many ways, great friend to all, exemplary Muslim woman, and content housewife.
I respect you.
Never did you ask Abi for anything that wasn't given. He didn't stress. You trusted him in the hardest of situations, you instilled belief in us that everything would be handled by Allah, and it was. At times we weren't the best of children, and many of us disappointed you...again...at times. But you continued to smile, and pray.
I respect you.
I feel a connection to you that I hope never withers. I was breech in your tummy. My daughter was breech in my tummy. I was diagnosed with Bronchitis at 3 months old and was in the emergency room on oxygen. My daughter was diagnosed at 3 months old with Bronchitis and had to get an Albuterol treatment. I turned over right before birth, she too turned over right before birth. Our connection can never be denied. When you use to tell me the story of your pregnancy with me, my stomach would turn, thinking about the concern and stress of you having to face such hard situations. Now I, the same child that listened to those stories about me, have gone through it all and more.
I respect you.
And after all of these years, your youngest is 26, and you're still just as concerned and involved as you were preadolescence.
I want to kiss your feet, rub your hands, and hold your heart so that it feels my adoration for your every effort to rear us to the best of your ability. I won't say you deserve the world because you don't. In my opinion you have earned something far greater. You deserve Allah, and I pray that He allows you exactly that.
Ummi, I love and respect you endlessly. Thank you for being exactly who you are. For that,
I.Respect.You
Upside-Down-Girl-
365 Art
Day32
FreeWrite
I have been through this dark road many times, not knowing when the light would grace me again. Or if it would. I can't hold my breath, for it never may come. I may live black and blue until my last breath...and if I do, let me rise to the rays of reward. My heart hurts too much. It feels too strongly. And at times, I want to throw growth a fist, and struggle into the ocean.
Just let me see light again...
FreeWrite
I have been through this dark road many times, not knowing when the light would grace me again. Or if it would. I can't hold my breath, for it never may come. I may live black and blue until my last breath...and if I do, let me rise to the rays of reward. My heart hurts too much. It feels too strongly. And at times, I want to throw growth a fist, and struggle into the ocean.
Just let me see light again...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
365 Art
Day 31
FreeWrite
I, am a lover of Love.
Only in the esotericism of words lost in light,
could I communicate with what inheres above.
White doves fly round this earth showing proof of You.
You it is who has captured my heart,
leaving all other things jealous of Your presence.
My love too strong to share, I want You to myself.
Selfless without You, selfish with You.
Make me a friend of Yours, a believer,
like Ibrahim, a patient knowledge seeker.
I, am a lover of Love.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
365 Art
Day 27
WordPlay in A Lovers Nest
Love keep loving me, please.
Pleas, plead for what is closest your hearts desire,
I'm in dire need of you.
Diaries written on sheets for you.
Palms secrete sweat beads through glands,
Our land of love lingers in the hearts of latent lovers
But for others this emotion too potent, too open.
Can you promise to love me forever?
I'll whisper honey-rich poetic hymns,
Sing songs in your honor lest you fear these words in vain.
In sane, in veins, untamed, Only God could have engraved
Your name on my heart.
Only in love like this does love get lost.
Light luring looks leaving me flushed...
This crush, much like that of a child
I blush.
Loving living in this moment,
I own it.
You inhabited my heart, healing hurt from decades before you.
And since love is all you have to give, let me borrow.
At last...
Silence my sorrows by morrow.
WordPlay in A Lovers Nest
Love keep loving me, please.
Pleas, plead for what is closest your hearts desire,
I'm in dire need of you.
Diaries written on sheets for you.
Palms secrete sweat beads through glands,
Our land of love lingers in the hearts of latent lovers
But for others this emotion too potent, too open.
Can you promise to love me forever?
I'll whisper honey-rich poetic hymns,
Sing songs in your honor lest you fear these words in vain.
In sane, in veins, untamed, Only God could have engraved
Your name on my heart.
Only in love like this does love get lost.
Light luring looks leaving me flushed...
This crush, much like that of a child
I blush.
Loving living in this moment,
I own it.
You inhabited my heart, healing hurt from decades before you.
And since love is all you have to give, let me borrow.
At last...
Silence my sorrows by morrow.
365 Art
Day 24
(Leaf Series)
For: Abi and Ummi
Since I couldn't paint your hearts gold...
It's the thought that counts (and the painting).
Thursday, January 27, 2011
365 Art
Day 23
(FreeWrite)
This mystery
Is a memory
Of love in my vicinity
Do you remember me?
Love, do you remember me?
(FreeWrite)
This mystery
Is a memory
Of love in my vicinity
Do you remember me?
Love, do you remember me?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
365 Art
Day 22
(FreeWrite)
Pangs of separation let me know that in you I find solace
I promise
That there is nothing but love that resides within me
And although I know perfection we'll never meet
I impeach your intention.
So let the world over know where my heart lie.
and why...
I'm in love with you.
(FreeWrite)
Pangs of separation let me know that in you I find solace
I promise
That there is nothing but love that resides within me
And although I know perfection we'll never meet
I impeach your intention.
So let the world over know where my heart lie.
and why...
I'm in love with you.
365 Art
Day 21
(FreeWrite)
I'm proud to say...
That I love the love in me
Hate the hate in me
Emote graciously...
But I'm sometimes too forgiving
And I've tried to find the medium, though I have yet to
So I'm continually reliving
Trying to figure out where I fall short
Where and what did I abort...along the way
P.S. Never be afraid to speak your mind, no matter what the critics say.
(FreeWrite)
I'm proud to say...
That I love the love in me
Hate the hate in me
Emote graciously...
But I'm sometimes too forgiving
And I've tried to find the medium, though I have yet to
So I'm continually reliving
Trying to figure out where I fall short
Where and what did I abort...along the way
P.S. Never be afraid to speak your mind, no matter what the critics say.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
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