~BEETRUE~

Haiku

2011-05-29T20:20:00.001-05:00

My mirror is blank
I can't see my reflection
Ignorance is bliss

The Skinny

2011-04-16T15:34:00.003-05:00

Ok so, I'm totally back, sort of. I mean, I just relocated and I have been trying to figure out life in a new place. It's interesting. I mean, I've never lived away from my family, and here I am, in a place where I know very few people. I'm not sure what I have to say yet, but I just wanted you all to know that my neglect was not intentional. It's a lot of work moving a family from one place to another. Blogging just hasn't been on my mind.

But I'm back!

365 Art

2011-03-11T04:00:00.001-06:00

Day 35

Night-falls with Presence
I can feel You around me
Take me back with You

....please....

365 Art

2011-03-11T03:56:00.002-06:00

Day 34

Haiku

Feelings of anger
Why can't I just be set free
I guess I'm just ungrateful

Don't think too hard. It's simplistic enough.

365 Art

2011-03-02T02:09:00.002-06:00

Day 33

Dont.Touch.Her.

Sometimes words aren’t enough

So I paint vivid pictures

Simple enough for the layman

Yet

Sufficient for the genius

But…

With words of course

I never learned how to use an easel properly

So I [speak] in frames

She said, “he’s a good man, with good intentions”

But I know better

You see

I’ve read letters

And listened when I appeared in other realms

My heart merely beat as it should have

I know that [you’re] scared

And aware

Because It’s in your eyes

And no matter how tough an adolescent you were

It’s enough

Everyone faces fright when surrounded with tumult

Just obliterate the pretense of strength

Courage is needed even when giving up

Let’s make-believe

I’ll make you believe me when I say that you’re lost

I have looked deep enough

Your core has transformed from vibrant to crushed

Flush consuming your skin-tone

You are dying in front of me

And, all I can do is wonder

If [I] slap you with enough force

Will you wake up?

To my mother...

2011-02-28T21:03:00.002-06:00

Bittersweet memories

Ummi,

I never told you this, but I felt it was time now.

I am almost 6 months away from turning 29, and now have 2 children of my own, and I can honestly say, I understand what you did and why you did it. That doesn't mean I agree with every part of it, or that I want to mirror your example as a mother myself in it's entirety, but...

I respect you.

My respect for you and your hard work has increased so much in the last few months that I had to write it down. Late nights, 8 of us, poverty, a Da'ee for a husband, and no help most of the time.

I respect you.

A proud, never complaining, always pleasant, loving in so many ways, great friend to all, exemplary Muslim woman, and content housewife.

I respect you.

Never did you ask Abi for anything that wasn't given. He didn't stress. You trusted him in the hardest of situations, you instilled belief in us that everything would be handled by Allah, and it was. At times we weren't the best of children, and many of us disappointed you...again...at times. But you continued to smile, and pray.

I respect you.

I feel a connection to you that I hope never withers. I was breech in your tummy. My daughter was breech in my tummy. I was diagnosed with Bronchitis at 3 months old and was in the emergency room on oxygen. My daughter was diagnosed at 3 months old with Bronchitis and had to get an Albuterol treatment. I turned over right before birth, she too turned over right before birth. Our connection can never be denied. When you use to tell me the story of your pregnancy with me, my stomach would turn, thinking about the concern and stress of you having to face such hard situations. Now I, the same child that listened to those stories about me, have gone through it all and more.

I respect you.

And after all of these years, your youngest is 26, and you're still just as concerned and involved as you were preadolescence.

I want to kiss your feet, rub your hands, and hold your heart so that it feels my adoration for your every effort to rear us to the best of your ability. I won't say you deserve the world because you don't. In my opinion you have earned something far greater. You deserve Allah, and I pray that He allows you exactly that.

Ummi, I love and respect you endlessly. Thank you for being exactly who you are. For that,

I.Respect.You

Upside-Down-Girl-

365 Art

2011-02-28T00:45:00.003-06:00

Day32
FreeWrite

I have been through this dark road many times, not knowing when the light would grace me again. Or if it would. I can't hold my breath, for it never may come. I may live black and blue until my last breath...and if I do, let me rise to the rays of reward. My heart hurts too much. It feels too strongly. And at times, I want to throw growth a fist, and struggle into the ocean.

Just let me see light again...

365 Art

2011-02-16T01:46:00.002-06:00

Day 31

FreeWrite

I, am a lover of Love.
Only in the esotericism of words lost in light,
could I communicate with what inheres above.
White doves fly round this earth showing proof of You.
You it is who has captured my heart,
leaving all other things jealous of Your presence.
My love too strong to share, I want You to myself.
Selfless without You, selfish with You.
Make me a friend of Yours, a believer,
like Ibrahim, a patient knowledge seeker.

I, am a lover of Love.

365 Art

2011-02-16T01:45:00.000-06:00

Haiku
Day 30

I'm exoteric
Though my soul transcends this world
Free me from myself

365 Art

2011-02-16T01:43:00.001-06:00

Haiku
Day 29

Miraculously
I bring life into this world
Only by His leave

365 Art

2011-02-16T01:40:00.002-06:00

Haiku
Day 28

When one door is shut
Another one is opened
Don't deny mercy

365 Art

2011-02-03T02:18:00.003-06:00

Day 27

WordPlay in A Lovers Nest

Love keep loving me, please.
Pleas, plead for what is closest your hearts desire,
I'm in dire need of you.
Diaries written on sheets for you.
Palms secrete sweat beads through glands,
Our land of love lingers in the hearts of latent lovers
But for others this emotion too potent, too open.
Can you promise to love me forever?
I'll whisper honey-rich poetic hymns,
Sing songs in your honor lest you fear these words in vain.
In sane, in veins, untamed, Only God could have engraved
Your name on my heart.
Only in love like this does love get lost.
Light luring looks leaving me flushed...
This crush, much like that of a child
I blush.
Loving living in this moment,
I own it.
You inhabited my heart, healing hurt from decades before you.
And since love is all you have to give, let me borrow.
At last...

Silence my sorrows by morrow.

365 Art

2011-02-03T02:04:00.001-06:00

Day 26

Art is what you make it, or what it makes you.

365 Art

2011-02-03T02:00:00.003-06:00

Day 25
(Leaf Series)

Got Shahadah?

365 Art

2011-02-03T01:52:00.003-06:00

Day 24

(Leaf Series)
For: Abi and Ummi

Since I couldn't paint your hearts gold...

It's the thought that counts (and the painting).

365 Art

2011-01-27T21:26:00.002-06:00

Day 23

(FreeWrite)

This mystery
Is a memory
Of love in my vicinity
Do you remember me?

Love, do you remember me?

365 Art

2011-01-26T03:55:00.002-06:00

Day 22

(FreeWrite)

Pangs of separation let me know that in you I find solace
I promise
That there is nothing but love that resides within me
And although I know perfection we'll never meet
I impeach your intention.
So let the world over know where my heart lie.
and why...

I'm in love with you.

365 Art

2011-01-26T03:29:00.002-06:00

Day 21

(FreeWrite)

I'm proud to say...

That I love the love in me

Hate the hate in me

Emote graciously...

But I'm sometimes too forgiving

And I've tried to find the medium, though I have yet to

So I'm continually reliving

Trying to figure out where I fall short

Where and what did I abort...along the way

P.S. Never be afraid to speak your mind, no matter what the critics say.

2011-01-25T02:49:00.003-06:00

Day 20
Freehand Painting

I'm just like you.
We are perfectly flawed.

I'm just like you...

2011-01-25T01:49:00.005-06:00

Day 19

Haiku

Let love remove hate
Faith replace ungodliness
And prayer bring peace

365 Art

2011-01-25T01:23:00.002-06:00

Day 18

Words of wisdom
From me to you

Let God be your inspiration; He alone is enough.

Love be your motivation; When you are blessed with this, all else becomes manageable even during times of struggle.

Action be your dedication; No matter what surrounds you, positive perseverance will always prevail.

And faith be your separation; It is piety that will set you apart from the majority.

365 Art

2011-01-25T01:14:00.002-06:00

Day 17

Just the two of us...

365 Art

2011-01-22T01:04:00.001-06:00

Day 16

(Inspired by Rumi)

Between each day falls night
Though, even in darkness you will find light

But only the lovers...

"Come...let's fall in love again"

365 Art

2011-01-22T00:10:00.003-06:00

Day 15

(FreeWrite)

Hips shapely

Big, small, attitudinal, dainty

Hair tangled

Locs

Curls

Waves

Brown skin

Caramel complected

Dark chocolate tone

Perfect lips

Perfect kiss...er

Slim waist

No better place

High, low, in between cheekbones

With me, with she, with her, is your home

Magical fingers...she possesses

Mother, Sister, Aunt, Friend, and Lover

Don't you love her?

...Black Woman.

365 Art

2011-01-22T00:03:00.007-06:00

Day 14
Haiku

Traversing this world

I'm a stranger with no home

But, I'm on my way...

365 Art

2011-01-19T00:15:00.002-06:00

Day 13

Where Urban, elegance, and Modesty meet.

Skirt and Jewelry by: Ma'ti Designs.
Black under shirt and white T-shirt by: Firm Apparel.
Photo by: SLJ

Don't say you weren't informed...

365 Art

2011-01-19T00:06:00.002-06:00

Day 12

Haiku

My heart remembers
That You are the One true God
Awake or Asleep

Ya Allah! Please keep me under Your watch always.

365 Art

2011-01-18T23:56:00.003-06:00

Day 11
Saturday, January 15, 2011

Scarf/Hijab/Shawl and bracelet sets, on Ma'ti Designs table at the Eradicating Islamophobia Conference.

Beautiful and original. You should get you one. ;-)

365 Art

2011-01-18T23:45:00.003-06:00

Day 10
Friday, January 14th, 2011

The Ma'ti Design earring display at the Eradicating Islamophobia Conference. It was good times, with good people.

365 Art

2011-01-18T23:24:00.003-06:00

Day 9

Light Grey Crushed Velvet Abaya with triangular design on the front. Sewing has been in my family for 4 generations, and I am in the third. I hope my daughter joins the fourth.

365 Art

2011-01-12T04:20:00.003-06:00

Day 8
(Leaf Series)

Hand Painted Leaf

Let the purity of nature be your inspiration...

365 Art

2011-01-11T02:33:00.002-06:00

Day 7

Haiku

Poets take chances
Courageously giving hope
Words can change the world

365 Art

2011-01-09T23:43:00.003-06:00

Day 6
Haiku

My Beloved Messenger (Salallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)

Like the moon gives light
You brighten the universe
Mercy to the world

365 Art

2011-01-09T02:06:00.002-06:00

Day 5

You

Your walk is the sexiest thing about you
And what is a Queen without you?
Nothing
Cuz we belong together
You are the seeker of my treasure
My pleasure..
Is calling you my king
And Its your melody I sing
Because...
Between the bridge of each finger
Run nerves through which I feel your vibration
Your seed enables creation
And I can't close my eyes without hearing your voice
Deep, as it is
Soothing, is your kiss
Intense
Each word
Rhythmic
Each sentence
Scented with your cologne
My home
Is in your arms
And I could dwell therein forever
No harm
Just your love
Your calm
Your heart...beats
To my heart beat
My hips sway
To your feet
And we'd never walk alone
Cause your footsteps are my compass
And I love this
If I weren't your soul mate I'd be your mistress
Relentless
But...
Thank God for our unity
I'll be your wife, friend, lover, your girl
If I could multiply anything in this world...
It'd be my love for you
It'd be my trust in you
My crush on you
My lust for you
My all for you
Cause..
I just can't get enough of you

365 Art

2011-01-08T02:00:00.000-06:00

Day 4

Haiku

A designers mind
Where art and intellect meet
Creativity

Part 1

2011-01-07T01:48:00.002-06:00

Untitled

And if I held my breath I'd probably go unconscious
From waiting on your shallow promise-s
I promise
I gave my life to you
My womb
My time
My rights to you
And you threw it back at me
Gladly
And never looked back
Like you were never happy
Like my hips never bore your children
My limbs didn't console your feelings
My prayers never gave you healin'
My heart didn't break from revealin'
For-real then
I give up on you
Cause you gave up on earth
AND your worth back when
And I won't search through history cuz statistically if you're not here now
Than it don't mean S*** to me
Needless to say
I probably wouldn't find you there anyway...

It's something I couldn't hold in after a conversation I had with a friend over the weekend about the state of the black man. It's not finished but this flew out.

365 Art

2011-01-06T23:28:00.003-06:00

Day 3

...And if you accessorize anything, make sure it be your soul...with faith.

365 Art

2011-01-05T22:41:00.002-06:00

Day 2
Poem: Sisterhood

If you can see me, then you should see yourself
Because…
Somewhere inside of me you reside
Unperfected
This bond neglected
A long time ago
I mean, we rarely see eye to eye anymore
And,
I miss your company
I miss the advice you use to give to me
When we would get together and share our stories
And even though we lost touch, you’re still in my memory
But honestly,
I’ve been meaning to tell you that I love you
For His sake
And nothing can top that
Because each morning it is by His Will that I awake
And I see myself in your face
And although we don’t hold hands anymore
You could never be replaced
So tell me
What happened to the sister I had in you?
How come we don’t have the friendship our mother’s use to?
And how come when you speak in my absence it’s usually untrue?
I mean
I thought we were sisters
I thought we’d paint pictures together
Read scriptures together
And be friends forever
But all I can say is that you left me hanging
Cuz jealousy got the best of you along the way and…
I’m ready to take back what the devil took from us
Say goodbye to the envy, lies, and mistrust
Cuz again,
For the love of Him I forgive you
And I’m not ashamed to say that I miss you
So until the day we can say...
That we love, hate, give, and take for Him
I’ll keep writing my feelings with this bleeding pen

365 Art

2011-01-05T00:37:00.005-06:00

So I went away, had a baby, and now I'm back for a challenge. My baby is almost three months old, and just as cute as can be. Praise God!

Well, yesterday Liza Garza (Def Jam Poet) posted this as a status:"the question isnt can you...but will you create a new piece of art every day for the next year?" And so along with quite a few other people, I'm joining in on this challenge. Since I'm an artist in many forms, it's time to really really challenge myself. And I love this idea. So, whether or not I can get to the computer the exact day I create something, I will post here every time I get a chance, If God so wills.

So, I started late, and today (Tuesday, January 4th, 2011) was my first day. I made a very simple skirt out of Grey Suede material, with a black embroidery design on it. It's a 4 panel A-line skirt that I recently have fallen in love with as a pattern. I'm sure I'll be making more of these during this challenge. Wish me, and my creative mind luck. I'll be back with you later on to post something else......

365 Art
BeeTrue

Affectionately

2010-08-28T17:08:00.001-05:00

A poem dedicated to my late brother,

Dear Antony Watts-Abdul-Matin A. Haqq

With our white sheets we'll meet once again
We'll greet, we'll speak, and sip tea once again
Just not for a minute, or a year or two
But while we're separated
Please visit me for a few
Tell me about your departure
Although without you it'll be harder
I won't bother shed a tear
I know those that go straight to Allah, don't answer to Munkar and Nakir
So all I ask is while you're there
Existing in the distance between you, I, and here
Make Du'a that only of Him I fear
And that thought of Him should be my only steer
I can remember late nights we'd laugh my dear
Just like it was last night my dear
Indeared, through your absence, to Az-Zaahir
Existing without existence
In pure hearts He peers
Sometimes I look at the door
And you're still not here
Realizing
That visualizing
Is only a fantasy
And that fantasizing is only enchanting me
It's not a reality
For me
Remembering you is something I can't do
Which doesn't mean I've forgotten the remembrance of you
Rather that pangs of division shoot through
But He says that true lovers will unite
So here I am
Waiting
Praying
On my knees each night
Bowing
Raising my hands
While my pleas take flight
Divine words I'll recite
To get me through this dim life
So awakened I'll be, and again companions we'll be
We'll talk, we'll laugh, sit under His tree,
Knee to knee
And it will no longer be poetry
But the meeting of you, I, and my decree
With our white sheets we'll meet once again
We'll greet, we'll speak, and sip tea once again
But I won't shed a tear
My word I like to keep
Because I know you're better off with Him
Than here with me
So, on you I wish peace.
Affectionately,
Your sister Bee

I guess....

2010-08-22T13:44:00.001-05:00

Since I have Myspace as one of the places you can find me, I should actually make myself available there huh? It would be a courtesy to whoever is trying to find me there. Just a thought.

My bad!

CLose, but no Cigar!

2010-08-22T12:39:00.000-05:00

I hate feeling as if I don't belong. Aaaaaand, it's just that simple. I could actually place a period here and that be the end of my post, because it sort of sums up the entire meaning of this post. And it's funny to me how one, or a few words can tell an entire story.

See, I find myself smashed somewhere between, a Sufi, a Hippie, an Artist, an Activist, Passive Aggressive, and just trying to stay afloat. But, that doesn't complete me by far. There is much more, and I guarantee you if I were to have written this earlier, or later tonight even, I'd only have a few of these words and

a few different ones. Which just means, I can't be boxed in, and am a combination of many things. But, let's get to the point, I don't want to lose you before I scratch the surface.

I've always been the different one, even when I was a little girl. My group of friends were always closer to one other, than I was to any of them individually. I haven't quite found anyone to match my random, convicted, and somewhat twisted view of life, Religion, and Culture. I'm not sure if it's a lesson from God to teach me the importance of needing only Him, or just the cold reality of life, and the fact that no two people are exactly alike. But I've never been internally at home with anyone BUT Him. I feel I can get along with anyone, so don't get me wrong. I also feel as if I am a person who, does not like to, but, can adapt to my surroundings at any time if need be. But there is still that me, inside of me, that is never fulfilled by anything but me, and Him. Or Him, and I.

I wish this were some epiphany I had, and that I could tell a story about how I dreamt that God were holding a place for me in paradise, or that He sent me a sign saying I was special; but it's not. It's just that little girl from 52nd Street who always wanted to be different, didn't talk much until about 11 years old, that grew up impoverished, yet loving life, sharing a fraction of who she is to the world. And I don't know why. I'm not sure why society has made himself worthy enough to know this about me now, but, for some reason, he has.

Could it be:

*the acceptance of self

*a learning experience

*a level of discovery

* a journey I'm about to embark on

Or simply, me just being my random self again? I'm not sure what it is that warrants this delicate piece of the pie that I am sharing, but that may be part of it too. All I do know is that, I'm finally understanding that I'm

not like anyone I know, or have ever met. I'm just me. I don't ask God why has He made me in a way that I feel I can't relate to anyone, nor do I question why He has made others in a way that I feel is so different from me. But what I do ask, is for Him to grant me understanding and contentment with His creation, and what He has ordained.

And with that my heart rests. Even in me just knowing that I have requested that favor from Him, I can rest, knowing that one day it WILL hit me like a lightning strikes.

Fact still remains. . . .

BeeTrue

It's time...

2010-08-19T17:12:00.002-05:00

I feel like I have failed society in a way. Not because I have done anything to offend it's fabric, but because I have held my tongue, and force back for too long. It is now time for me to stand up and do with my voice and hand, that many will never have the chance to do at all. Speak up, and against falsehood, and misrepresentation of Islam. Through my art, and this blog, I will attempt being an American Muslim citizen. Upright, peaceful, loving, mannerly, and religious. It is only by His will that this is possible, but I am no longer going to sit back while anyone represents who I am. I will do it for myself.

Brace yourself world, I'm ready to make a change!

BeeTrue

A facet of remembrance

2010-08-16T13:50:00.000-05:00

Bismillah Ir Rahman Ir Raheem and Ramadan Muabarik to all!

It is with sadness in my heart, and Du'a on my tongue, that I relate what I witnessed in 2004 when I traveled to Pakistan for a goodwill tour. It was a trip that I will remember, and cherish for the rest of my life, and am very fortunate to have gone. But this note has little to do with the purpose and length of the trip, it has much to do with what I saw. One day when we were driving around to shop for some cultural things to bring back to the states, we ran into a slew of children who looked very ill and un-kempt. It wasn't that they were homeless, nor that they had no family, it was something very peculiar about them and their story. I was told by a native woman of the country, "the people are so poor here that some parents have resorted to shooting/blowing up/and or amputating limbs from their children's bodies, so they can appear as desperate as possible and become beggers; in hopes that those who are more fortunate will feel sorry for them."

The children would stand in lines on the street, or outside of stores all over the place waiting for rich natives, or wealthy foreignors to come by, so they could rush them with their pleas. I remember it looked so real, that it was surreal. One of my companions, when first confronted by the sight of this, laughed, thinking it was a hoax of some sort, that they were in costume. That is when our trip lead told us the true story, and just how real it was. I can close my eyes right now, and picture the blood dripping to the ground from their arms, and legs, as they knocked on our car doors and windows. In their eyes I saw no emotion, but I could feel the energy of pleaing hearts while in their presence. The picture in my mind becomes no less vivid now, than those days, weeks, and months during my trip.

I think that is when I realized just how blessed I was, and no matter how unfortunate I was in my past, there was no comparison. It is at this time I began to understand the spirit of Sadaqa, and take it seriously.

1345. It is related that Haritha ibn Wahb was heard to say, "I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'Give sadaqa. For a time will come when a man will go about with his sadaqa and not find anyone to accept it. People will say, 'If you had brought it yesterday, I would have accepted it. Today I have no need of it.'" (Bukhari)

I can't confess that since then, I rush to give Sadaqa as soon as I find out that someone is in need. Nor can I admit that after having read this very Hadith 6 years ago, I have done enough to compensate for my awareness either. But what I can say, is that my heart never forgets, and I am only human. I want to do more, and I want to never be the person who waits until it is too late. If giving is important at all, it is most important, and exceedingly beneficial, during this blessed month. The reward is tenfold, and Sadaqa is "a facet of remembrance" because it is He who tells us:

" Those who (in charity) spend of their goods by night and by day, in secret and in public, have their reward with their Lord: on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve." (2:274)

Personal Du'a: Ya Allah! Let this be as much a reminder to me, as it is to anyone else. Ya Allah! guide us all to, or on, the straight path. Ya Allah! Allow this Ummah to become more like those righteous men and women before us, and grant us patience with Your Mercy. Ya Allah! I beg that You grant us forgiveness our sins, and entry to Your blessed garden, underneath which rivers flow. Ameen!

BeeTrue

It's been forever...

2010-06-08T15:16:00.002-05:00

I'm composing now.

Writing.

Brainstorming.

Everything that takes time to do, I'm doing all at once.

Stay posted...

3 Words

2010-04-24T15:24:00.000-05:00

Peace.
Love.
Light.

Beetrue

Guess WHAT!!!

2010-04-21T08:26:00.003-05:00

I'm still here!

Ok so, I feel obligated to tell you guys what I am up to so here goes:

1. I'm looking for a new job.
2. Still in school and thinking about attending this summer too.
3. I got married!!! Woohoo!!! Love this dude!
4. Got a brand spankin new Toyota Carolla, 2010 BABY!!!
5. And lats but not least, I am moving to a bigger, and cuter place!

So, there you have it, I am maaaaad busy ok, so find me more subscribers and I'll post more :-p.
I need subscribers to encourage me to come back and show this passion serious loooooooove!!!

Forgive me

2010-04-01T09:55:00.000-05:00

For taking so long to update you on my life. If it is not one thing, it's the other, and I have many of them going on. But here I go again, back at this thing. My mind is an open vessel waiting waiting to be filled. For me, this is not about getting people to listen as much as it's about getting my thoughts out. I have a passion for many things, and I feel they should be shared. Trying to contain too much may make me burst, and I wouldn't want that to happen. I have new goals, new pursuits, new developments, and new ideas I would like to share. But not here, not now, you must wait.

Slowly, but surely, I'll make my way......

BeeTrue

.....

2010-02-07T13:02:00.001-06:00

Fearlessly I live on the edge of me, steady tryna deen but see, there's a cloud surrounding me.
The Dunya is epidemically drowning me in it's decree, and I won't let it steal the faith in me
Sex, drugs, and lies sell for money, but we ignore the kid who cries "I'm hungry. It's ugly!
Armies kill our baby holders, our future molders and our few real Soldiers
This place is a living hell, but I'm gonna hold on 'till my fingers bleed from holdin the rope tight as hell
I can promise you we gone all taste death, but I won't accept to taste the story the fire tells
Shaitan, your whispers won't work in this circle, made of believers and hopers, the truth tolders, I mean tellers.
Though we live among fire dwellers, it's one thing that'll always separate us, it's knowledge of Him.
So I concede, this is the life of the lie dispellers

I'm back

2010-02-07T12:52:00.001-06:00

In full affect. Just watch how I move.....

Asthmatic

2009-12-22T04:59:00.002-06:00

Oh my goodness! I just had an asthma attack. It has been well over 4 years since I had my last attack, this is almost un-heard of for me. My son is now 4 years old, and I wasn't even carrying him the last time. Girl, pull yourself together!

I have to begin eating right again.
Reading more Holy Qur'an.
All prayers have to be offered on time.
My exercise regimen will need to get put back into place real soon.
My schedule has been on point until today.

The illness has put me in an interesting position. I feel like I'm on standby waiting for something to happen again. This is always how it feels when my asthma sparks up. And then earlier I began to break out in little bumps all over my face and a few places on my body. Ok, now that I type out this experience, I'm getting scared! What is happening to me?

"Hesbiy Allahu Wa Ni'mal Wakeel."

You Make Me Bipolar

2009-12-22T03:55:00.001-06:00

They say opposites attract
But I beg to differ
See I figure
You follow the rules of love you'd never paint a perfect picture
So Mr.
I'ma follow your lead and we can make our own roadmap
Call it a love depicter
Intersect paths to create a maze-trap
And I never wanna find my way out of this
Because the way you make me feel
There's no way except it, accept it
I'd believe your every word even if I knew it were fictitious
Your love is delicious
Addictive
And I'm addicted
　
Buuuuut
I hate you
You make me feel like i'm mentally unstable
My memory is unable to out-date you
If only you were fable
And I were capable
Of letting you go
But I can't
Because emotionally I'm over-flowed
The worst part is you know
And I hate it so
So
Release me from your spell
From this high I fell
Oh well
　
They say dreams come true
And I know that they do
Because in the midst of chaos
I managed to find you
You're like a picturesque vase
And I your rose
Encased
Safe
In a secret place
With me
Only you can relate
And it's crazy because I know you can't be replaced
That's the reality I face
But as the days pass by
I pray the feeling subsides
　
Buuuuut
I can't stand you
Cause you were full of lies
And when I confronted you about it
I got no reply
Hmph!
I won't ask why
Just keep my hands raised to the sky
Riiiiight
This is real love?
Just disguised
You're like my enemy
All that you said about being a freind ta'me
Was poppycock
And I can usually decipher through things sensibly
　
They say when you meet your soulmate
You'll get that feeling
So we've finally met
And your words are so indearing
I can still feel his eyes peering through me
Even when he's away
Please stay, pray, and never stray from our union
Our love is like a communion
And we share it so well
And it's so heartfelt
My love is beauty and you're eyes are the beholder
I'm an X-box and you're my controller
Your grip may be loose but you keep thinking
"I can still hold-her"
Still console her
　
Aaaaand it's true
You definitely can
Because one thing I'll never do
Is misunderstand
Nor will I ever
let go of your hand

I'm sorry

2009-12-20T03:25:00.002-06:00

I may not be as expressive as I usually am and I want to apologize. In the future some time I will pick it up, but I wanted to notify you that it won't be too soon. Whenever there is an update, I will definitely let you know, but for now I'm signing out. Love to all!

Strange....

2009-12-13T08:10:00.003-06:00

You just don't understand me, and never could. Because I am nothing like you, or her, or anyone else.

Night

2009-12-08T23:49:00.002-06:00

Alright Blogspot I must go. I hope you enjoyed this night because it was very rare. Don't know when I will blog this much again in one single night, but I didn't know it would happen tonight either. I have to attempt resting. I have an exam Sunday and I haven't studied at all for it
*sigh*

Fareal?

2009-12-08T23:30:00.003-06:00

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooow Shaq! Just wow! I mean, you really have disappointed me. If those messages were real, I am so upset. What is it that makes the world such a deceitful place these days. I guess I need to stop having so much hope, even though I don't want to. Dag man! I'm just waiting for the next celeb to be in the news. Now I feel like, it's all of them and it just hasn't been manifest yet. Btw, it's not just celebrities, it's the poeple you know too. You probably know more cheaters than you think you do. O.m.g. I'm about to go cry, I can't take it!

This is called....

2009-12-08T22:47:00.002-06:00

Speed bloggin. You should try it sometimes, it's therapeutic...

P.O.E.T.

2009-12-08T22:45:00.001-06:00

Person. Orally. Expressing. Their-self. Holla!

So about this TSA manual

2009-12-08T22:20:00.002-06:00

I'm just trying to figure out if all of these "accidental security bleeps" are really, "accidental." If you ask me, there seems to be some sort of organized plan they have for a "terrorist" attack soon. America really, why so many mishaps, so close together with security? Especially when we've been attacked soooo many times. Right? Haven't we been attacked alot? Yeah sure!

Never get comfortable.

2009-12-08T22:09:00.002-06:00

It is juuuust when you have gotten comfortable enough to relax, when Allah shows you that NOTHING is forever save Him. I mean like, nothing belongs to you, not even you. Even you belong to Him, so never get comfortable. No sooner than you begin to rest will He shake you and say, WAKE UP and worship me, nothing and no one else. If you lose sight of Him, or neglect your duties to Him, He will become jealous. Thereafter He will either take that which distracts you from Him away forever, or temporarily to teach you a lesson...it's that lesson that disturbs me. I hope I understand, and never forget these lessons...

Lost

2009-12-08T16:06:00.000-06:00

If my prayers never received answers
I'd still pray
Because at the end of the day
I know You're listening
Even when I'm whispering
And hear me
Even when I'm just thinking
But what if
I can't lift my arms
And what if my thoughts don't process properly
And what if I can't face You because I'm too ashamed
And I can't say Your name
Because I'm not worthy
Just
What if.....
If my prayers never received answers
I'd still believe in You
Because I know in You I can find truth
Like no others do
And that our friendship will never be damaged through
The whispers of others
And if I feel this way
Why don't I act as if I believe
And why is it so hard to bow down when I'm in need
And how come scabbed wounds open and bleed
And I know giving up will not set me free
But living through it
Hurts more
So I pray for
A brighter day
They say "When the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray"
Well I say it's true
So in that position I'll stay
Because I'm not strong enough to stand anyway
And being weak before You
Is better than just being weak
And since I can't sleep
I'll remain awake and weep
In the still of this very night
I weep......

Salahi's.....

2009-12-07T18:10:00.003-06:00

I just find it interesting that this whole thing occurred. Obviously this is a distraction of some sort. From what? I haven't figured that out yet, but this is just my opinion. Who in a nation would have better security than the President of that nation? No one! I don't think that they (The Salahi's) slipped through security, I think it was one of two things. It was planned to distract our attention from the bigger things that are taking place, like I said before, or, they showed up and were shown the utmost hospitality.

It's just not possible that they snuck through such a planned out, highly secured event with no problems, when no one was expecting them. I don't buy it at all! But I will stay attentive to see how this unfolds though, I'm interested. I guess they got me too....

Oh well!

Sigh

2009-12-06T14:10:00.000-06:00

The evolution of me
Obviously
Is emitting growth of me
So grow with me
Or show me the way
I can't argue that my path is straight
But if you have no proof of astray
Then just stay
Be still
Be quiet
Be real
My eyes are wide open
And this heart
It feels
It cries
It spills
Over with emotion
I know I'm not holding the answer to the future
But my hands do possess the knowledge of it's producer
And His book is it's proofer
My grip is no looser
Than it used to be
I'm just on the road to find happiness
I won't lose myself on the road of this
His Hand stays hovered over me
And I'm quite aware of it's detailed list
I must exemplify a true muslimah
I must give up my relaxed demeanor
This lady
I see her
More focused than she's ever been
Ready to grace the world with mic and a pen
In the midst of sin
I can make some sense
Cause it seems I've been all over the world
And still can't find many with more than two cents
Of deen in their life
I don't mean to be judgemental
But if He shows me the signs
Should I ignore it each time?
Does He not clearly define
That these are the last days in time?
I only wish to be under His light while I unfold
Unwind
Washing each limb and I pray they shine
It's fine
I'll take this to Him
But I won't promise you much else
And I'll never pretend...

I miss you

2009-12-04T14:59:00.002-06:00

They say the heart grows fonder when absence is present
I guess that's why my soul yearns for your presence....

Give me....

2009-12-03T15:13:00.001-06:00

A mic......

I dont

2009-11-25T15:16:00.002-06:00

Wanna hurt no more, because I've cried before..........

Untitled

2009-11-14T17:17:00.002-06:00

At dawn I wake for You
Afternoon I pray to You
Mid day we meet again
Early evening whisperin
At night I give farewell
Pray I'll be kept from hell
Read Your Holy scriptures
Make my Wajib Witr
This is a perfect picture
But it's not my constant thikr
See I struggle on this path
Hoping this moment lasts
Just a while longer
While I strive to become stronger
This dunya will not harm her
Will not harm me, rather
I'm wishing and praying
That I make it safe and sound
To the hereafter

Coquettes

2009-11-14T02:54:00.002-06:00

Posted up on the dance floor
Billboards
Video whores
Women who say they want respect but dress like they're waitng to get scored
Faces painted, like painted faces facing a sentence
Sentenced to life on cheeks
Eyelids
Lips
Listening to this message and you contemplatin getting with it
But it's momentary
You see
In the eyes of every person lies a peephole to the soul
I see the body of most women and revealed curves they behold
There she goes
SOLD! To the next bidder
Auctioned off through pick-up lines and each time you think it's a form of flattery
Self provoking physical battery
Rape victims imprisoned by your own immodesty
Possibly
It's the principle
You strut the earth like you're invincible
Clothes tight
Short
Shape visible
Too visual
A coquette in fact
And you think he's looking cause he likes that
Well to clue you in, it's because you lack tact
And I'm tired of naked chicks being mad when men react
Aint nothing wrong with covering yourself to get respect back
And don't expect that
He'll respect that
It's illogical for you to request it
So don't even stress it
Your body is your beauty
But you gotta learn how to protect it

Expression of a Hijabi

2009-11-12T18:31:00.001-06:00

Don't feel sorry for me because I cover, be happy that my beauty is undiscovered, and only known by one brother.

I'm on a mission

2009-11-12T11:02:00.002-06:00

To dispel the misconceptions about Islam.
To enjoin good and forbid the evils of mankind, even if it be against my own soul.
To spread truth to all four corners of the earth, single-handedly.
To learn something new each day.
To prepare for my next journey.
To become a better person with each waking moment.
To take risks that I had no courage to take before now.
To teach the world everything I know, which is an iota of nothing, but someone may know less.
To be so loving, that no one can speak of me without saying, I am a loving person. To let the world know and understand this statement: "No more hate." Shout outs to Khalil Ismail. One love, one Ummah!

Please

2009-11-06T12:52:00.002-06:00

Inspire me once more. Read between the lines. Make a difference. Be different. Pave the way. Now, it's time to put the mirror away.

This Marriage (Rumi)

2009-11-04T21:07:00.001-06:00

May these vows and this marriage be blessed. May it be sweet milk, this marriage, like wine and halvah. May this marriage offer fruit and shade like the date palm. May this marriage be full of laughter, our every day a day in paradise. May this marriage be a sign of compassion, a seal of happiness here and hereafter. May this marriage have a fair face and a good name, an omen as welcomes the moon in a clear blue sky. I am out of words to describe how spirit mingles in this marriage.

It aint for me

2009-11-03T16:40:00.003-06:00

It's either up or down,
disbelievers move around,
because I fear the sound of His wrath.
Thunderstorms,
lightening,
tornado's during overcast.
Lifeless bodies in caskets,
souls captured in Barzakh waiting to pass it.
Faith, do you have it?
I can only hope I do truthfully,
maybe the truth I speak will testify for me,
cuz hell is hot,
and it aint for me.

I'm not worried

2009-11-01T22:22:00.001-06:00

At all!!! I'm just not. I have what it takes to make it, having nothing to do with me at all. I have it, and like I said before, I'm not worried!

Sundae

2009-11-01T10:08:00.004-06:00

Sunday morning is like, coffee. Refreshing! Wouldn't you like to spend it with me? When I was growing up, my family always had a big breakfast on Saturday or Sunday morning. You'd never know who was gonna cook, or what they would make. Ummi/mommy might make chicken livers (I don't care if you like it, because I do) smothered in onions, with eggs and toast. Abi/daddy might make some quiche ,with roasted potatoas, and some type of bread to go along. And Abi would ALWAYS make the BEST coffee with all kinds of mixtures and spices in it, mmmmmh! If it was Hushy, she'd try some old fashioned southern biscuits, grits and eggs. My lovely bro Soupy (don't ask why we call him that), would definitely make a conoction of eggs and veggies, fluffy and perfectly rounded pancakes, sausage and the most tasty chai. Hmm, now my oldest sis ding-dong, oh goodness! I can't even explain what she would make because it was so exotic. Like, really, there's nothing that could explain it. Ok so, I'm gonna try anyway! She would make this baked waffle called, "dutch babies." One day on my show I'll make it for you guys to see. It would have whip-cream and jam on it, oh my goodness! With eggs she would cook in a saucepan on the top of the stove that had steamed brocolli in it, then put it in the oven for a few minutes. And along with that would be some home fries....and she could make some killer coffee too. And then, ok, I have alot of brothers and sisters so I'm gonna stop now. I don't want to bore you all. But, I'ma put it like this, the weekends were fun at my house.

Sunday is so beautiful for many reasons. I mean, it's like a spring day, so bright and inspiring. But, when it rains it brings peace and tranquility. It's the last day of your weekend, the day on which you leave to rest (if you have completed your list of "things to do") and chill before the week starts. It's family day, it's "I can't believe my weekend is over" day. It's, wow "did I get all my washing in" day? I LOVE SUNDAY!!!! Oh, and especially, SUNDAY MORNING!

Sunday morning, waking up, is the BEST feeling ever man! I feel, happy...and, like I want to share this feeling with everyone. Idk, when I woke up this morning I felt at peace for some reason.

The weather is beautiful,
Sun beaming,
Heart beating,
Soul seeking
Reaching
For the stars, I like to do,
It's kind of like,
When I reach for you,
Because I know you're reaching for me too,
And since your soul is so amazing,
It hovers above me,
Like the moon and the stars be,
Inspired by unity,
The air is so lovely,
Cooling,
Breezy,
Sun steaming,
But yet,
It still feels good outside.
It's Sunday morning, and I'm alive,
That's a reason enough for me to smile

Don't ask, because I don't know. I was so moved to just start writing, and when you feel the urge to write, you HAVE TO WRITE! Don't let that moment pass because you will lose it. It will be gone forever, and who knows if those words will ever come back to you in the same way. Even if they are corny, you can always work with words, or word with works. If you're a writer you will understand this post, but if you're not....I don't know what to tell you. Just please, always cherish Sunday, and it's morning!

I love you!

Creating That Bridge

2009-10-30T18:51:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking alot lately. Today I was thinking about a story someone related on Facebook the other day, that made me really upset. A brother was commenting about Pink Hijab Day, he said he was in a conversation with a few sisters who were saying that participating in it was un-islamic. This to me, is disturbing for more reasons than one. Let me explain... First, I want to start by saying Islam has already been perfected by Allah, so there is no reason to add to it, nor subtract anything from it. I don't understand why some of us muslims (and I include myself in order to remain humble), act so exclusively. In my understanding of the deen, Islam teaches unity, respect for all, as well as supports the involvement and participation in our respective communites. October 28th, Pink Hijab Day, to me was a way for us to give dawah, help a good cause, and begin to bridge the gap between Mislims and non-Muslims.We are suppose to be teaching others about Islam by being exemplary citizens of our country. How can we do that if we are displaying behaviors similar to extremists. Islam is about moderation in everything you do. You should neither be too extreme, nor too relaxed about the way you practice it's laws. Is it just me, or does it seem too extreme to say that Pink Hijab day is un-islamic, and Muslim ladies should not also bring awareness about, and for this cause?I'd like to mention that my intentions for writing this blog, were not to call anyone out, nor to say anything negative about my Muslim sisters. But, to inspire one to contemplate on why we do things, and what effect it can have on others. Are Muslims not a part of the population which suffer from cancer?<---just rhetoric. Of course we are. I am afflicted by Asthma, so should I not join a support group for those suffering from this condition? I think, in creating unity, we Muslims have GOT to be more accepting of everyone else.How can we say on one hand, that we are not accepted by non-Muslims, yet on the other, act in an exclusive manner towards them. If I can be the voice for a good cause, add diversity to a group, or support someone who is suffering, that I will be and do. The only reason I may not do so, is if I am asked to defy or dishonor my religion, or take off my hijab. THEN we may have a problem! But until then, I wish to play a big role in society. Please Muslim ladies and men, can we work towards unity for the sake of Allah. But, as individuals we must encourage others to do the same. If we are not on the same page, how can we get anyone on our side?Practice what you preach, and learn before you teach. Yeah I just made the second part up, cute huh? LoL! Seriously, to conclude "love conquers all," try to conquer it within you, so that you can spread it wherever you go InshaAllah. And if you have love in your heart for Allah, then it too will reside therein for all of creation.I am working on myself each day, He is not done with me yet.

He said.....

2009-10-26T22:17:00.002-05:00

This is what I will be for him........"And of His signs is this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect." Al-Room (30-21) Now reflect on that...........

Halfdate.com

2009-10-26T21:36:00.004-05:00

So, I joined this wonderful site a few weeks back, and it's all about giving for the sake of Allah, and charity. They say "promoting Sadaqah with half a date or a pleasant word," and I don't know about you, but that's something I want to be a part of. So, if you too, want to be a part of this, this is what you can do. If you have an inspirational story about generosity, kindness and giving, which can be about your own experience or someone you know. Send it in. InshaAllah your story will be featured within a month as part of an ebook, which motivates and inspires others to give and act kindly. You can even contribute money to/for this cause, no matter how big or small your donation. And Allah says.... Al Baqarah: Ayat 274
"Those who (in charity) spend of their goods by night and by day, in secret, and in public, have their reward with their Lord: on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve." Here's where you can go: http://halfdate.com/

Blank

2009-10-26T11:26:00.002-05:00

I guess I just woke up as a total blank today. It's not that nothing is on my mind, or I have no feelings, but I just feel sort of...empty to some degree. Maybe it's me, but sometimes I feel like my connection with Allah is too distant. And the worste part about that, is that I know it's because of me. Because He is never distant, He is always there, He is always close. So I will, reach for Him today, and every day thereafter. He is waiting for me to call on Him.....

Ya Allah......................

Never, EVER....

2009-10-25T13:42:00.002-05:00

Let anyone disguise the beauty of Allah (God). He is with you wherever you are, and no matter what you do. He does not love conditionally. Therefor, His love is ever-existing, ever-merciful, ever-abundant. He is your reason for this short journey, so make sure along the road to never forget Him and your purpose for being here. Which is to find your way back to Him, through Him.

Inspirational thoughts.

Where

2009-10-25T13:40:00.003-05:00

Can I find the most happiness,
the most confidence,
the most inner peace.....

With him, through Him.

Studying

2009-10-23T18:27:00.002-05:00

In doing this, I often-times find my thoughts drifting off into outer space. Today, they brought me to some interesting ideas about the world, and how it is functioning. To me, it seems like we've come a long way, but there's so much more to achieve. Yet there's no time left. Does that mean we give up, or put in more work? For me, it means working until my soul is slipped from my body. I am being the change I want to see, but it's not nearly enough. I'll continue attempting to inspire people until the entire world has become proactive, and works in unison. Will you help me, or not?

Metaphor

2009-10-22T01:03:00.000-05:00

He is like, a metaphor.
But....
Not like one I've met before
My domestic chore
He's a score, like 10!
Touchdown!Field goal!
My heart and soul
He's so....
I can't even describe him
Like the treasure of my island
He's mine and.....I love him.

One word

2009-10-22T00:51:00.001-05:00

Discover.

"I am" Firm Cipher

2009-10-21T23:02:00.001-05:00

I am a poetess
I am an artist
So, excuse me while I introduce myself
I'm gonna play spades with the cards my colleagues just dealt
See, I seek to uplift the people
Your spiritual
Physical,
And your mental health
I am an artist
I sketch images with an asphalt pencil,
I don't need a stencil for this outline, I'll take it line by line
Or one line at a time
Call me a muralist, cause my wall is as tall as china
But, it's just that I'm finer
I'm like, that, religious reminder
Chrysalis in the mix, now picture this
Pixels couldn't exist without my verbal contribution to the element
I am the relevance
And it's evident that no lyracist is as verbal-genic as this
My photos tell stories of your past untold
Get vividly awaken while the history unfolds
Let your breath go,
Pens drop when I speak because you froze
I'ma rephrase
You're freezing
You're thoughts are on hold cause I'm cold
But I don't scold
I speak softly
Mold minds seeking to find the truth
The future is in the productivity of the youth
So i'm here for you
Call on me and I'll show you the proof
And I don't write with a pen, I write with a lighter
How else could a small-framed poetess spit fire?
Aloof from wordly desire
It's all about the higher
And He's my only reason for being a writer
By the way have you seen my collage?
Including font versatily, Snippets of melody, speech veracity, and that's not even the half of it
It's a montage of thoughts
And I can't even explain it
I mean, my composition is so sick that I'm starting to catch it
So, when I sneeze, please bless it
This is purity, morals, and vicous truth resurrected
I am a poetess

I like....

2009-10-20T04:21:00.002-05:00

Long walks on the beach. (not a cliche, I really do like them).
To stare in to the sky at dawn, or dusk, or ever.
Coffee.
Jewelry.
Singing until my throat hurts to strengthen my voice.
Trying something mildy courageous I've never tried before.
Hashbrowns.
Pure essential oils.
Pure body oils.
Chilled fruit.
Chips w/dip.
Acapella songs.
Cleaning.
Serving.
Having fun.
Love.

Only a list of a few things. There's no way I could say everything now. Or ever tell everything I like. I find myself to be a versatile person, so the list continues forever.

I would say what I don't like, but I'll leave that for another post, on another day.

Just make sure you continue to read my rights. :)

Just, tell me...

2009-10-20T04:16:00.004-05:00

Tell me the truth. From the mouths of the youth.
Tell me, what inspires you.
Because, I'm inspired too.
Just tell me....is it me, or is it you?

This is where you can find me

2009-10-15T01:56:00.002-05:00

I've been trying to be more focused, and productive lately. It's been working I'll say, 75 percent of the time. I'm writing, recording, and learning alot about myself. I love the fact that life is evolution. At this point I'm growing so much that, I find my emotions are trying to catch up with my mind, or vice versa. I don't know which is growing faster. I started school/college in Spring of 2007, and my life got flipped upside down right afterwards, so I had to discontinue. I decided to go back last Fall. Something happened and i didn't make any of the deadlines to be enrolled. But, this fall, 2009, I'm back. With everything else i'm doing, it's hard to focus on studying...even though I know it should be number one.

I feel that my life experiences are an example of what it is to struggle. To come from nothing, yet never give up on what you want to achieve. When you have been through turmoil and back, you can inspire people, and give hope to those who may want to let go. Oh, and as for "where you can find me," right here writing. Or: facebook.com/beetrue, myspace.com/beetruew, youtube.com/beetrue09.........I have so many thoughts in my head, it's becoming a blur....I'm sorry, I have to go now......

Bells

2009-10-12T15:10:00.001-05:00

80 days? Maybe more.......can I wait? Guess we'll have to wait and see.

Youtube.com

2009-09-30T14:33:00.001-05:00

Here I come. You just wait, I got something serious going on. Getcha clicks ready!

I've learned that....

2009-09-22T18:29:00.002-05:00

If you love too hard, you may get hurt. But if you love too weak, you may miss love. So just...love. Not too hard, but defintely not too weak. It's like, the love you give is the lyric, but the love you receive is the speech. They go hand in hand. But how come it seems that love for me is never reached? I know I give, but I always lose. I know I'm 100, but I always get the dude that's confused, or fake, or just not right for me. See, this feeling inside of me is real, and I never deny them because I like to keep it real, so here's the deal. I'm gonna continue to give no matter if i receive, and I'll be waiting until the very last day, even if you deceive. Get it?

How I feel......

2009-09-21T09:42:00.002-05:00

1. Like my aspirations have lost it's imaginative quality, and become a reality. I'm close to taking that step.

2. As if dreaming for me, is no longer an option. I must bring my dreams to fruition and relinquish settling for less.

3. I feel that if two people want to be together, they should be together.

4. If you have a goal which you believe reaching is unattainable, no matter what you do, never give up trying to. Through that struggle you will find growth within you, even if you never reach the goal. Which to me, is not an option either.

5. I have so much love in my heart for mankind, I sometimes am a target for being mistreated. Although through realizing this I have yet to give up on God's creation, it often hurts to reflect on it.

2009-09-11T15:41:00.001-05:00

"Im contemplatin hatin you, debatin outcomes that relate to you, a constant on my mind I hate this truth, not one can match the things you do. And I can say it now, I always knew: No matter what goes down Im there for you, a fixture in my life, you've never moved. I wonder how much more I have to prove?" Tay sodan

The Dunya

2009-09-07T22:11:00.000-05:00

It's an entrapment, do not become trapped in it. I gotta keep telling myself that every day. Survival tactics.

2009-09-06T02:49:00.002-05:00

Every. Story. Sounds. Excellent. Linking. Judiciousness. And. Youth. *Plug*

2009-09-05T13:20:00.000-05:00

Live and let live.

Give and let give.

Speak don't preech.

Be don't just speak.

Set an example.

Food for thought

2009-09-05T02:39:00.003-05:00

My heart has opened up to the posibility of kissing success.
History relays a message of fear, but I no longer relate to him.
Because this my dear, is the beginning of the road. Who said you can not start over?
I will not be discouraged by anything or anyone. Here it comes!

2009-09-03T17:08:00.001-05:00

I'm back, even though I never said I was leaving. I went to Trinidad for an intense fashion design course for a month. Learned alot. We'll have to catch up soon....

UmmIbn

2009-07-31T14:07:00.002-05:00

Just call me UmmIbn, because Umm means Mother of and Ibn means son of, and since I'm the Mother of my son can anyone tell me who he's the son of? A nation that was taught to hate instead of love. I'm tired of history repeating that same old song, no father in the house, and it's been centuries too long. For me to tell that same tired story, complaining about restless nights and days are slowly passing me by, written in permanent ink so I won't ask why. Where is the baton? Abi's getting too old to be a prominent example for Shakur, Salim and Abdus Salaam.

So just call me UmmIbn, because Umm means Mother of and Ibn means son of, and since I'm the Mother of my son can anyone tell me who he's the son of? I have slowly forgotten, because I'm Mother and father, and since Islam is supposed to make the difference I want to know why you chose me to dishonor? See I was raised for that special moment every little girl dreams about, when a man gives his hand, to a man who takes his daughter's hand, and the end result are two hands, locking under the mistletoe of unity. So where is the baton? If you are not around, you can't hand it to Isa, Siddiq and Imran.

So I chose the label UmmIbn, because Umm means Mother of and Ibn means son of, and since I'm the Mother of my son can anyone tell me who he's the son of? My skin is no longer soft and words are not softly-spoken, I am now not the beautiful token of Islam. More like a tired, run down woman, with no protection from this land. I am now aggressive and angry, petite but not dainty, but I can remember those days faintly. Because they were too long ago, and now I have to go, out daily to make ends meet, and I have to deal with Robert, Tom and Pete. While they whisper about my beauty. Because you dropped the baton instead of handing it down to Hassan, Musa and Sha'baan

So my title is UmmIbn, because Umm means Mother of and Ibn means son of, and since I'm the Mother of my son can anyone tell me who he's the son of? There is no father figure, and since my figure is not showing it makes my options slimmer. Islam narrows my mind but I am not narrow minded, The deen dictates I choose, from faith and truth, but if no one is living true, then what is left to do? Soon I'll have to walk into other religious sanctuaries just like christians and jews, and maybe I'll find a Mr. Do and change my last name to don't, so that this time I won't have to play two roles ultimately. So I'll ask once again, where is the Baton? That you were supposed to carry along until it was time, to pass it on to Muzzamil, Qasim and Ridwan?

I'll never give up on you, it's just that I had to make a decision. So just call me UmmIbn.

© 2009 Firm Entertainment

2009-07-31T14:01:00.002-05:00

If I wasn't True, I'de just Bee. But I'de rather BeeTrue....

~~~BEETRUE~~~

Haiku

The Skinny

365 Art

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To my mother...

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Part 1

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Affectionately

I guess....

CLose, but no Cigar!

It's time...

A facet of remembrance

It's been forever...

3 Words

Guess WHAT!!!

Forgive me

.....

I'm back

Asthmatic

You Make Me Bipolar

I'm sorry

Strange....

Night

Fareal?

This is called....

P.O.E.T.

So about this TSA manual

Never get comfortable.

Lost

Salahi's.....

*Sigh*

I miss you

Give me....

I dont

Untitled

Coquettes

Expression of a Hijabi

I'm on a mission

Please

This Marriage (Rumi)

It aint for me

I'm not worried

Sundae

Creating That Bridge

He said.....

Halfdate.com

Blank

Never, EVER....

Where

~BEETRUE~

Sigh